Follow my ditzy mummy moments caused by a shrunken brain, not enough sleep and too much juggling.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010


I had a bit of a panic on christmas eve. The christmas tree lights didn't work when I turned them on in the morning. So sent hubbie out to buy some new ones, not the horrible LED lights but clear fairy lights. No luck, so in the afternoon I went off and still couldn't find any, finally went into the poundshop that I vowed never to use (principles go out of the window when you need something at xmas). They only had multi-coloured but I was getting desperate so boughts loads. I then went home, took down the old ones which miraculous then started working....why didn't I do that in the first place.

We decided to stay at our house on xmas day and invite everyone over. However, I hadn't thought of the hassle involved (that's excluding the issue with the decorations!) I do have a couple of tips for xmas:

a - don't let your husband do the food shopping, £365 it cost and we didn't even get turkey.
b - if you're planning on baking a citron tart (or is that a car?) make sure you have all the right equipment, no baking flan tin or food processor.
c - if you wrap the kids presents use tags so you know whose pressie is whose and then its not a surprise for them.

Merry Christmas.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Snow and my warm / wet boots

It was like a winter wonderland, an amazing white blanket of fluff covering it.... Then its turned to slush, with brown grit on the paths. Which is fine if you're worried about falling over but it upsets me for a number of reasons: a) its doesn't look pretty and snowy anymore; b) its ruining my boots which work well in snow but not in slush.

My new boots are so warm, they're like uggs but prettier (and cheaper). I bought them off my neighbour and they're called Ewe (strange purchase to make on the school run!!). I love them and so I got v.upset when I had to walk to shops to do xmas shopping and as soon as I hit the slush they started leaking like a wet tissue. Yesterday, when the council put down the grit on the pavements down our road I came out and swept it away so it didn't ruin my boots when I left the house. Then today I looked v.funny pushing the pram but walking sideways so I could walk where there was still snow again so my boots didn't get wet. I probably looked like a crab or a crazy person.

Monday, 13 December 2010

Ditzy mummies unite

I took the baby to a singing group thingy today and met a friend there. On the way in we were being a bit thick as there's building works going on at the venue with a new gate. Although we both looked at the sign saying "gate opens outwards" we were both trying to push the gate inwards. After much pushing and kicking I managed to squeeze my pram through the gap (and burst the tyre). So we approached a builder on the site to say that the gate was working and he pointed to the sign.

We were having a good old gossip whilst the babies were off playing. The play session ends with some more singing, but both our babies tend to wander off rather than wanting to do the singing and actions. So we're sitting there half chatting and half singing. It was during one song that we realised we'd both been rocking to "row row your boat" without the babies being anywhere near us. Then, during a song that requires a clap now and again (5 fat sausages) we both clapped at the same time out of sync with everyone else without either baby again being near us. Oh those crazy mothers!

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

OK! Xmas Party

Yes, I went to the OK! Christmas Party on Monday night. My colleague at work knows a celebrity who had been invited but instead she put my name down and my friends on the guest list. So we got v.excited at free cocktails and canapes and seeing celebrities.

Well, it was weird. Basically, the type of celebrities where you go - "oh its that women from Eastenders / Big Brother / that famous Chef, but what's their name". The women all looked the same, big hair and short dresses. But I don't think it went down v.well when a glamour model / barbie girl stood next to me and her fake boobs were so big and protruding that I mistook them for a shelf and put my empty cocktail glass on the 'shelf'.

Look out for the xmas issue with 2 middle-aged women trying to get in photos of the celebs. Check this out

Lost in the country

I went to visit an old school friend out in the country (near Haywards Heath) who has just had her second baby and having house extended so was renting a place for a couple of weeks. Anyway, took 2 of the 3 boys and my other friend Sam was also driving down from London. So Sam and I aren't the most organised (ditzy or busy - not sure!!), I had a postcode for the rented house and Sam had deleted the original text with the full address so was going from memory.

My satnav was taking me to a pub as I think in the country, lots of properties share the same postcode (bloody countryside) and couldn't get hold of our friend.  I managed to meet Sam in her car driving up and down this one long windy country road (I'd already driven up a couple of times) but she had our other school friend who can be very control freak organised who was getting very irritated by our lack of organisational skills as we both drove up and down for about 30 mins trying to find this house without actually knowing the name of the house. It was one of those times that I preferred having 2 small children in the car rather than an adult telling me off!! Poor Sam had our friend getting more and more annoyed. I just found it funny.   

Friday, 3 December 2010


Feeling mean as had hysterics at the baby this week. With the cold weather I tried to find some slippers for him, everything he wears are "hand me downs" from his brothers. So found a pair of slippers that I think are the smallest we have. I put them on him and they were probably 2 sizes too big. When he tried to walk he looked like a baby giraffe or baby deer trying to walk, the slippers were making his legs all wobbly and he was suprised that his legs weren't working properly. It was so funny to watch, the other sons couldn't understand why I was laughing so much. Bad mummy!!!

Monday, 29 November 2010


I'm deeply traumatised as my front veneer tooth came off whilst biting the wrapper off son 2's lolly. I now have a front half tooth, that is brown and filed back. So attractive, I was on the school run and had to borrow a mobile to call the dentist to get an 'emergency' appointment. He didn't think it was an emergency so no appointment until tomorrow. How is it not a emergency when I'm training tomorrow and looking like a crack addict from Mississippi!! Need to learn how to speak without showing my teeth for the whole of tomorrow. Hubbie came back from gym tonight and laughed that I was having to drink my red wine with a straw. It's sensitive, the exposed half tooth so can't eat or drink properly. Son 1 kept asking to look as well, obviously told him its because I don't brush my teeth properly (rather than pregnancy rotting my teeth) but also pointed out that my real tooth next to the front veneers looked brown. Thanks sweetie.

Just checked on son 2 as well, at bedtime he's wanted his light on - usual with a 3 year old. However, my strong-willed child went to sleep under his chair to be near the night light. OMG, the determination. He'll either run the country or be a drug dealer!

My boss

Where do I start with my boss? He's a Director so fairly obsessed with work, etc, etc... He's also obsessed with attention to detail, which if you read my blog you'll realise I'm not. The type of boss who goes through reports with a red pen, that makes you sit down to go through all your grammatical errors. My argument is although I only work 3 days it is a full-time job - perfection and details are not important - making a difference to lives of our staff and patients are much more important (wow I sound important). Another point is that he's not really interested in my area of work, Equality and Diversity (mainly as he doesn't understand) but for me that's a good thing as I get left to my own devices (not good at being micro-manged)

So, had my first one to one meeting with him after 2 months being back after maternity leave. Basically got told off for 'not being on top of everything' over a Committee meeting that I'm responsible for. Blah, blah....Not a good time to ask for my promotion / pay rise then. Had my arguments all planned but had to re-think my strategy!!! How long do I wait now to ask????

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Issues with my cape

I made an impulse buy recently and bought a lovely black wool cape to wear to a wedding. However, there have been issues with it. At the wedding, I wore it with a light grey dress, black tights and a thick black belt - as I only had one outfit for a wedding that was 200 miles from home it was a bit late when I realised I looked like an old fashioned nurse. All I needed was the paper hat that nurses wore 40 years ago.

Today, I decided to wear it work. But, I couldn't carry my bag on my shoulder, as the cape bunched up to much so I had to do that holding in the crook of my arm which looks good but is uncomfortable. Then when I was on the packed tube, reached up to grab the rail and as I'm so short the cape hit the person sitting on the seat below right in the face. On the way home, the wind kept blowing the cape up into the air making me look like a witch.... Maybe not so stylish.

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Crowd Control

Having 3 children means that often its crowd control and counting 3 children before leaving somewhere. Often in the playground at school as its so busy I lose son 2 who tends to wander off to play with the other 3 year old siblings. But unlike son 1 who is like an elastic band (he always comes pinging back, very reliable), I can't guarantee he'll be by my side when I walk off. Many times I have gone to leave the school playground counted only 2 children so shouting his name and then son 1 is trying to interrupt me to tell me that son 2 is already sitting in the pram (its a phil and ted so don't always look at both levels).

Then on Friday, I was leaving the gym after meeting a friend and I only had baby and son 2 with me. I went to leave, starting panicking where the baby had wandered off and my friend is laughing at me as she'd picked up the baby to help and told me so but as normal my selective hearing hadn't worked.

I suppose at least I don't take home the wrong child, well I haven't yet.

Monday, 15 November 2010

zombies and doctors

After watching new FX programme "Walking the Dead" based on the film 28 days later I had nightmares about zombies all night, not watching that again. Its tiring killing zombies all night. 

Anyway, after getting to the doctors for baby's appointment with the nurse at 8am, she was really late. So had to amuse all 3 sons, I pointed to one of the poster's in the waiting room and said "look at the funny sausage picture". I didn't really look and then noticed it was a condom (not a sausage) promoting safe sex (the condom had beer goggles on - get it!). Fortunately, as usual my kids ignored me but it was a v.packed waiting room. Oh ditzy mummy.... 

Friday, 12 November 2010

I need a wife

I can't seem to get the right place at the right time. Today, managed to get all 3 boys ready for school out of the house and at the doctors for 8am so the baby could have his MMR. Right time, wrong day. It was for Monday, I do vaguely remembering writing it down at work with date of 15th butin my head was sure the appointment was for today.

I was mentioning to colleague yesterday that I need a wife (she thought I had something to tell her). Isn't that what proper wives do, remind their husbands / partners where, what and when they're meant to be... but maybe I just need some new brain cells that can remember better. Not sure if my brain has shrunk or tiredness just means I can't retain information. Have you had any forgetful moments seen kids came along?

Sunday, 7 November 2010

In my prime at 38???

Apparently according to Style magazine (Daily Telegraph - my mum gets it) I'm in my prime at the ripe old age of 38. I have to admit I was quite shocked at this news as don't feel in my prime at 5am when baby has woken me up and looking at my tummy. But, thinking about it today I could be in my prime because: 
  • Doing well in my career, could be at the next level but working mums can't have it all, but I do feel now and again I have inspirational moments when I come up with great ideas (most of the time if I get there with right shoes and hair straightened its a miracle). I like my job and never dread going to work.
  • I'm not intimidated by anyone as I'm more confident than I've ever been (maybe if I met Robbie Williams might feel a bit nervous). In my 20s always felt insecure talking to more senior people at work or new people out and about. But now I can more or less go into a room not knowing anyone and do ok chatting about some cr*p or other.
  • My body is a bit droopy in places (3 kids later that's inevitable). But weigh less than in my 20s and fitter as I know my metabolism is slower and have to work harder at the gym & eat better.
  • I think I dress better, I know what works and what doesn't. I can afford a decent hairdresser and colourist so I think my hair looks better than it did. Plus, not much sunbathing (skin burns like mad) and a regular skin routine means I think I look my age rather than older.
  • Then there are my kids, I'm finally done having anymore babies and sleepless nights are sort of over, well let's hope. I'm married to a lovely man and I have my own home.

 So, yes I'm possibly in my prime at 38!

Friday, 5 November 2010

Not the wrong shoes

With the tube strike I decided to 'get on my bike' and cycle to work, well to the venue for the event I was running for Black History Month. By the way it nearly killed me, its all so competitive with other cyclists and wasn't sure which side to overtake cars plus don't know how to work the gears, there's gears on the left handle and on the right handle - really not sure how they work (I know!).

So, got all my outfit in my backpack sorted trying to concentrate on making sure that I had everything I needed to change into whilst son 3 the baby was clinging onto my leg crying in a weak voice as he has tonsillitis. Kept looking at my lovely red 'power' shoes that I wear for work and reminding myself not to forget them. From Ealing to the venue off Oxford Street was about 6-8 miles (not sure) got to Shepherds Bush and realised I had forgotten my shoes and my green trainers probably wouldn't work with the work outfit. I was chairing the event so would be standing up presenting to the audience wearing trainers!! 

Fortunately my director's PA is in the office early and I have a drawer full of shoes for work at my desk, so she saved the day - bit embarrassing having to ask her to bring me a pair of shoes though...  

Monday, 1 November 2010

Dead fish & blocked toilet

I came home from work last week to find that chaos was everywhere. The upstairs toilet had been blocked by my 2 year old nephew so the toilet was starting to flood, so unblocked that (lovely!!). Then son 1 starting getting into a state as he thought he'd blocked downstairs toilet with his poo and it was also starting to flood but after unblocking that with hubbie's golf stick or whatever they're called, found loads of toilet roll down that toilet again from my nephew.

As bedtime when I'm working is always a bit rushed and frantic went back up to sort out baths etc to find that one of the fish was floating upside down as kids from party the day before had tipped all the fishfood in. I had to get the dead fish out (I didn't want to traumatise the kids or the remaining fish with his death) so got him out and put him the toilet forgetting that had been blocked. Then starting panicking that the kids would see the dead fish in the toilet and it would start overflowing with all the toilet tissue etc. Luckily I unblocked toilet and fish went away to his watery grave. How would I explain to a plumber why there was a dead fish floating around in our toilet.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Another wedding

I went to another wedding on Monday, my old university friend Onelia who is one of my favourite people's in the world. The wedding was up in Cheshire and in true style we arrived late to the church just as the bride was walking down the aisle. After the vows in English and then the groom started saying something we couldn't hear and my friend asked what he was saying to which I replied he was speaking Latin, nope it was Italian - didn't think of that considering Onelia is Italian.

Friday, 22 October 2010


Worked late after putting kids to bed (Freedom of Information requests are the worst) so I was looking forward to sleep. Especially since the baby has been ill and waking up at 5am for the past week. Imagine my delight when son 1 came up to our room (well he sneaks up really quietly) at 4am, as he got confused at what the time was. Instead of putting him back to his bed I told him just to get into our bed (we NEVER have them sleeping in our bed) and my god I remember why they don't sleep in our bed.

I don't think son 1 understood my rules (my hubbie really knows the rules) of sleeping in my bed, you don't fidget, move, snore, breathe (if possible at least not loud breathing), turn over, talk in your sleep and definitely don't push me off my own pillow. Again, how do people have their kids sleep in their beds, why, oh why!! I didn't get any sleep between 4am and 5.15am and then baby woke up!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

I know who did it

Just sitting watching the MOBOs and a drunken memory has come back. I think I know who stole my bag. One minute I saw bloke from JLS and the next my clutch bag (well) was stolen. I think it was him!! Well I'm sure they're record deal isn't that good maybe he needed a new phone / or bag.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Hurry, hurry, hurry

On saturday I finally had a night out for my friend's birthday. I was in such a rush getting kids ready for bed whilst ignoring the scowls from hubbie and trying to look half decent. On my way out I grabbed the blow up bed as I was staying over, finally get to my friends and get the bed out to blow up and realised I've bought the wallpaper stripper steamy thing. How did I mix them up? They both have photos on the box, just grabbed the first box out of the loft that was the right size. My friend doesn't even have wallpaper so she definitely didn't need a wallpaper stripper!!

I also thought we were going out for a quiet meal, nope it was a new bar / club trendy place in Shoreditch with no food. So I also got that wrong, my friend had told me the place we were going to but I hadn't checked what we were doing. Great night but my bag (well my friend's whose I borrowed) got nicked with my only watch and phone. I forgot that stuff gets nicked when you're in a club not a playground.

Friday, 8 October 2010

Bl**dy escalators

Why oh why do I not listen to my inner voice? Today big incident with an escalator rather than using the lift.

Went off for quick shopping to Westfield for hubbie's bday present, he wanted sweatshirt from Hollister. Normally I would order off website but its £20 delivery which is daylight robber so off we went. Normally has queues of teenagers outside and is always too dark and hot for me to deal with.... So got his sweatshirt and son 2 had decided he wouldn't use the lifts so we were using escalators which is always difficult with pram and small child.

On the last escalator on the way to the carpark he stepped to close to the edge and his foot got caught in the moving parts, quickly got his foot out and he was screaming really loudly. The whole way home he was screaming so I was trying not to panic and figuring out how to get someone to look after the baby and pick up son 1 from school whilst keeping son 2 from stopping screaming if we went to A&E. I hate A&E, working in the NHS I know how much £££ parents waste taking their precious children to A&E instead of the doctors or just being sensible. Whilst all this thinking is going on, with the screaming he decides he won't let me have the windows open and I couldn't get the air conditioning working.

Get home in a real panic now as thinking if he's broken bones and I don't take him to A&E he might never walk!!! Fortunately next door neighbour sister was visiting and is a paramedic, she thought no broken bones. But weirdly for the first time in nearly 2 years he took himself to bed and went to sleep. What would you do? Would you take them to A&E?

Monday, 4 October 2010

Mummy at work

Been back at work 2 weeks now and slowly getting back into the chaos that is a working mum. Getting ready whilst getting 3 boys ready for school, nursery school and nanny whilst putting make-up, outfit that matches and doing hair is challenging. I used to straighten my hair in my office when I got to work but the new office is all open plan, last week I was in the middle of straightening my hair before everyone got in the office and the Deputy Chief Exec came over to say hello, quickly had to slip my straightening irons into my draw. Whoops....
Also last week again didn't recognise an ex-rugby player. I was watching son 2 at football when one of the Dads was basically coaching his little boy in the middle of his football lesson. I mentioned it to my husband who normally takes the boys to football, he told me the reason he was so pushy was that he was Martin Offiah - who used to play international rugby league. How am I meant to know who all these old sports people are???  

Monday, 27 September 2010

Back to Work

So after 51 weeks off work, I'm back. Started 24 hours after getting off my flight from LA, had severe jet lag and felt surprisingly ok about leaving behind the baby and sons 1 & 2.

It was weird using my brain again but firstly had a major wardrobe malfunction. I haven't worn workwear for nearly 2 years as I was in maternity clothes and then in mummy clothes for the last year, poor hubbie had to stop me beating my wardrobe in frustrations trying to find something that matched, went with my shoes (as I have been living in trainers or flip flops) and that was ironed (me and the iron don't get on).

I can't remember what I used to wear to work, to make matters worse we've moved offices to Victoria from Ladbroke Grove so everyone around is young and funky dressers (not in my office though NHS staff aren't known for their fashion sense). So after my meltdown I decided to get new work stuff but then at 2am awake with jet lag I added up what I could remember I'd put on my credit card - things like Gucci sunglasses as I felt flash at the airport after being upgraded to business class I suddenly thought I was rich.

Better go and do some ironing so I don't only have crease free stuff to wear to work.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Ditzy in LA

Well what can I say, sitting in the lobby of our hotel the Andaz in West Hollywood. Its uber trendy but they don't have a reception desk just staff hanging around with laptops in the lobby to check you in and all the other stuff. As they have no uniform its really difficult to know who works there or whose a guest. They serve free wine in the evenings and I thought a guy who was pouring the wine was one of the hotel staff so I asked him if he could open another bottle of wine, looking at me strangely he replied that he didn't know where they kept the bottle opener. Oh no, what a mistake.......... Well how could I know.
We went on a tour of the movie stars homes - no we didn't get to go inside. It was great if a little pricey but we

stopped off at hollywood boulevard and outside the chinese theatre we saw Mathew McConaughey the famous A list star with a hot body.  Yippee we saw a celebrity in LA!!

Monday, 13 September 2010

Off to LA

Yippee, tomorrow off to LA for my friend's wedding Emma. She's already married (boyfriend who she'd never lived with was moving back to US and she needed green card to follow him) so the wedding is on Friday in LA where they live. All the way back in January I told hubbie we were going (she's a v.good friend) and he kept coming up with issues so told him I was going with or without him.... So its without him, and leaving my bundles of trouble behind for 6 days.

Starting to panic as apart from buying loads of clothes off ebay that don't fit I'm not very organised. Looking forward to child-free flight, watching loads of films and not worrying about children needing the loo when the seat belt sign is on.

Monday, 6 September 2010

You know you're middle aged when..

I was looking through The Times saturday supplement and got to the fashion bit which I love. One of the photos had a model with a white shirt open to the navel showing her black bra underneath when I suddenly remarked (outloud) - "I'd really like that if she wasn't showing her bra, why would she not do up her shirt?". Oh dear, I'm middle aged....

Saturday, 4 September 2010


I give up with my new bike, I decided to take it for my first ride today. After spending weeks sorting out the right lock (in my ditzy way just bought first lock I saw without checking out whether it can be broken) and insurance (bike has to be kept in right place with approved lock so this took time) etc. Got the top of the road after being lectured by hubbie on how to lock the bike and being waved off by the kids. Then changed gears (I don't really know how to do bike gears) and managed to force the chain off. Great I lasted 2 mins on the bike and then back to the house and in the car. I give up!

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Oh the lies I tell

I'm quite random when it comes to telling little white lies to the boys. Son 2 has started asking "mummy how did Arlo get into your tummy". Now this always panics me when the ask about the birds and the bees. So I said "well Daddy put him there", he asks "how did he do that". Now my brain is turning over really fast, so I replied "he bumped his tummy with mine". His reply "did he do it lots of times", this time I could be honest "no only the once". Fortunately, I get pregnant quite easily!

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

How bad am I at arts & crafts?

Son 2 often asks me to make swords, pirate ships, hats etc out of cardboard boxes, bits of string, dust etc. The argument that I don't know how to do it is normally met with a "just do it" - followed by tears.

The other day he asked for a submarine to be made from a random box, although I've been watching The Deep (BBC drama) about a submarine I still couldn't recall what a submarine looked like. Look at my effort - does it look anything like a submarine (I though they might have aerials on them that's what the pipe cleaners are)? Son 2 was satisfied for about 2 mins.

wedding in the woods

After visiting my friend in Manchester for 12 hours on Friday night (as I couldn't make her hen night) the whole family went to a wedding in some woods. Very alternative wedding... 

It was hubbie's cousin who I'd never met, after spending ages looking for the 'old oak tree' with a pram, couple of grandparents and older auntie we found the wedding party. We then spent an hour waiting for the bride whilst 5 little boys ran around the woods and of course found dog poo to tread in. The bride then walked down the aisle (made of logs) with her dog and had the service performed by her younger brother. Interesting!! The actual service was lovely and better than religious service as it felt more personal. But my mother-in-law amused me as she was freaking out in her perfect outfit whilst waiting and going on how ridiculous the wedding was. Her freaking out made me laugh anyway.    

Sunday, 29 August 2010


Living in London I come across celebrities quite a bit, always when I don't expect it. LOn Friday I was in Top Shop on Oxford Street and saw the women that's just left Coronation Street (can't remember her name) - tried not to stare. 

I'm not v.good with recognising famous sports people. I was at the gym swimming pool with hubbie and kids when I pointed out to hubbie another daddy who was very well-built / muscly black guy and asked why he couldn't look like that. Hubbie replied that if he was an international French rugby player then he probably would. Good point. 

Where I used to work along Ladbroke Grove (north end not the posh south end), I used to see loads of semi-famous celebrities (actors and comedians mostly). All I ever used to think (hope I didn't say it outloud) was why would you live around here its a sh*t hole. Now I know you're asking how I know they lived there, only ever saw them in the morning.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Whipsnade Zoo

Last week took the boys to Whipsnade zoo to meet a friend. Its a lovely place to take children as once you're past the entrance is fairly crowd free as its so vast and the animals are spread out (not roaming about though). I liked it so much I've bought annual passes for us all.

Had a ditzy moment though when we visited the hippos, there were 2 lying on top of each other. As I approached the enclosure I thought the hippos were mother and daughter was the one on 'top' looked smaller, I commented to the kids "ah look its mummy is giving it a cuddle". The bloke next to me responded "I don't think so". I then noticed they were the same size and were probably doing "the wild thing". Whoops...

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Innocent remarks

I was amused by a couple of my son ‘s remarks over the past few weeks: we were talking about camping which he really wants to do but he came up with the issue of “mummy, if we went camping where we would we get our brioche for breakfast from”. Omigod, how middle class are my children!! I have to admit that for ease and as son 1 is so fussy he gets either a chocolate brioche, pain au chocolat or toast for breakfast.

Another remark was when I mentioned that my tummy was still flabby after the baby. My lovely son said “well mummy, your tummy has been stretched out when we were all in your tummy and its not right out here anymore but its just a bit loose and stretchy now”. Ah, the sweetheart at the age of 5 is already trying to make me feel better in his own special way.

Sunday, 15 August 2010


With the summer hols half way through, I scummed and finally bought more sand for their sand table. That night went to bed and found a load of sand on my side of the bed. Its ok to have sand in bed if I was 19 and just been skinny dipping on a beach in south of France but not at nearly 38 when my bed is my sanctuary.

After two nights of scratchy sleeping and my imagination running wild thinking that some little animal (squirrel or pigeon) perhaps had deposited it in my bed I realised one of my 3 sons was the culprit. Now our bedroom is on the second floor and the sand table is out in the garden so how had sand transported up 2 floors was a mystery. Finally Son 1 whose nearly 6 admitted that he'd found sand in his pocket so had emptied it out into our bed. Mystery solved.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

swimming / lifeguard

Just been swimming with all 3 sons and then I did a quick 30 lengths in the big pool. As I came out the v.cute but young lifeguard said "good swim", now in my head he was saying "hey good swim, you were looking really fit" so I said thanks in a kind of flirty way. It was only later that I realised he might have been saying "good swim?". The fact that I then looked in the mirror and realised I was wearing a dodgy swimming costume with a swimming cap and indents around my eyes from my goggles made me realise I don't think he was flirting...... Oh dear, I must realised I'm a thirty something mother of 3.

Friday, 6 August 2010

Where's my watch?

I have been without my lovely watch all week. It got lost on Monday and there is a possibility son 2 has hidden it. Trying to get the whereabouts of the watch from a 3 year old is near enough impossible. I've tried bribes, tricks etc but he won't even say yes or no to hiding it. Hubbie says I've lost the watch (I'm v.forgetful and daily lose my keys, purse, kids etc) and that blaming a 3 year old isn't going to work. I've looked everywhere.....where's my watch?

Monday, 2 August 2010

Start of summer holidays

We now have 5 weeks left of the school holidays which don't seem to be going to plan. My parenting stragies have gone out of the window and I've turned into a 13 year old. Apart from the baby my sons are driving me crazy, the combination of my insommnia and the endless demands for entertainment is not how I imagined our summer.

Today the tantrums (mine) started with son 2 not putting his shoes on, then both bickering in the car (even though with the big van I can seperate them they still manage to fight). I really lost it when the coffee I had carefully taken back to the car and then son 1 jumped in the front of the car and split it everywhere. I had been counting on the coffee to keep me awake while I drove home, so had hissy fit in the car park. I then ended the day with me delivering a long angry lecture on doing as I ask which didn't work so I turned into a sulky teenager who wouldn't talk to them. Its quite difficult to bath and get them ready for bed without talking them. Fortunately, hubbie came home in the middle so I could storm off to the gym.

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Tiredness and ditzy

I haven't been sleeping too well the past week which affects my level of ditziness. Yesterday I met up with some friends and their kids for a picnic in the park. As my friend told me to get rid of the water in a cup so she could pour some wine into the cup, I did exactly as she told me and threw the water over my shoulder which unfortunately landed on her rug next to the table. Whoops

I just find that if I'm tired I just don't think and do ditzy things.....

Saturday, 24 July 2010


The kids and I went down to my mums yesterday to visit after her hip op (she had it a week before the summer hols started apparently the previously 3 months they'd been too busy with social events to fit in the operation!!!). Honestly, she told me that in May had a weekend away somewhere (I don't listen half the time), June was Royal Ascot and July was Henley. How could she possibly have her hip with no cartilidge fixed when they were so busy???

My eldest brother took son 1 and son 2 fishing in the local pond (not a fan but hubbie big fan of watching fishing on tv - I found him watching fish-a-mania the other day, too sad). So was surprised that the kids caught fish but didn't bring them back, apparently they put them back - what is the point! My brother's friend looked v.shocked when I asked where they were, I don't think he realised quite how ditzy I am.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Leeds Mama friend

The whole family went up on mass to Leeds to see a close friend who is expecting in September. I took all the baby stuff up to pass onto her. This means there is no way I could possibly have another baby and I like that all the funky baby clothes have been passed on.

It was lovely seeing my friend, but son 2 had to have a wee every half an hour so we stopped at every service station on the M1. I nearly gave him a bottle to pee in as it was taking so long to get home and everytime he wanted a wee we had about 15 miles till the next service station. So had tantruming 3 year old screaming in the back. Oh the joy of driving 200 miles with 3 children.

Free childcare

Had a lovely day so far without son 2 (3 years and v.stroppy at moment) as one of his little friends has a nanny whose taken him away from me for the day. The conversation went like this "would E like to have a playdate with T" "that sounds great" "ok I'll pick him up at 9.30" "what and take him away? Do you mind looking after him". How marvelous is that!!! And for free!!!!

So me and baby son 3 did a few things of my endless to do list, went for lunch with some other mums (wine midday is too morish) and then got to lie on the sofa reading whilst baby slept. Absolute Bliss...

Monday, 12 July 2010

Poo incidents

We had another poo incident today. Potty training with 2 boys has brought some interesting incidents, we have had:

  • Son 2 on first day of toilet training, weeing in a stranger's habitat children's tent (the co-ordinator for the 2nd times mums group with an immaculate house).
  • Poo in our swimming pool on holiday a few weeks ago, I was swimming underwater when I noticed small brown balls sinking to the bottom (don't know why poo is called floaters). So I spent an hour diving down to the bottom of our pool to fish out tiny bits of my son's poo. The pool cleaner turned up in the middle so had to hide the evidence v.discreetly.
  • Son 2 insisting that he had to go for a poo in the middle of the park, so he went behind a bush (75% of his wees are done outside - why do boys like doing that?) and I had to pick up his poo out of a bush like a little dog.
  • Son 1 (who is nearly 6) forgets he needs a poo, leaves it to the last minute and can't hold his poo (he does think that walking with his legs clenched together to the toilet will stop him pooing himself).
  • Next door neighbour's boy always does a poo at our house (he's 4 and long ago was toilet trained) - maybe he's so comfortable at our house he likes leaving a present!

can't wait to toilet train son 3, the baby........

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Strong-willed toddler

Son 2 (aged 3.5) is the most defiant or non-compliant (if I'm being nice and following my parenting book) child in the entire world. This weekend he's had about 30 mins when he hasn't been crying, tantruming or whining. I thought we'd turned a corner when he turned 3 but the last 2 days he's grown devil horns and has been a nightmare.

After hubbie had a mini breakdown yesterday (road rage incident - doesn't work really when you're driving a people carrier) I suggested he took some time out today. So had all 3 kids today with antsy baby and a toddler with PMT. As my normal strategies for dealing with strong-willed child are not working, we've decided that ignoring him is our new tactic. Normally in my ditzy mode, I'm v.good at ignoring people (in particular hubbie - once didn't notice he'd shaved his sideburns for nearly a year) but with son 2 he knows which buttons to push to get my attention. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. As his pre-school has finished for the summer, have no respite so will probably be on the wine every night.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Non-competitive Sports Day

Well, now I've seen it all. I hobbled over the road to the park for son 1's "sports activity day" but there were no winners or losers. What!! One of the reasons it was annoying was that it was (a) a bit boring and (b) my son is really good at running and (c) I had spent 10 minutes hobbling over the road (normally takes 3 mins) to see his first sports day which I envisaged would be like the ones I had at school. The school he goes to is a bit caring and sharing which is normally nice but I wanted to scream out his name as his took part in a race.

It was nice to catch up with some other parents after being away for 2 weeks but still.....

Other gossip was that my youngest brother got engaged to his v.trendy girlfriend (omg what shall I wear to the wedding?) which I didn't think would ever happen. She's the type of person who has their photo taken for sunday supplement fashion sections to show what quirky / trendy stuff people are wearing on the streets of London. I'm breaking out in a sweat thinking about what I could wear to the wedding. Suggestions gratefully received.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Back from hols and into hospital

Back from hols at the weekend and straight into having my knee fixed today ( I hope). This involved lots of complicated childcare arrangements and last minute favours (I love other parents - I would be lost without doing the school run).

Had to be at the hospital at 7am so found myself drying my hair with the car heater in the hospital car park (classy or innovative?). In the waiting room at there was lots of other older people (60+) waiting to have their knees fixed (apparently shouldn't have so much wear and tear at my age). They all had partners accompanying but I went on my own, not sure if I looked sad or empowered. Hubbie came and picked me up when I was feeling v.sick from the aesthetic, then puked as the physio came in. My hubbie was so sweet trying to keep my hair out of my sick (and it wasn't alcohol induced).

Now at home trying to sort out lastminute childcare as apparently can't walk son 1 to school or pick up the baby until end of the week. Don't think that will last but might change once the painkillers wear off.

Thursday, 17 June 2010


As I'm attempting to be organised for our family holiday I started packing last night. I looked high and low for a particular black lacy bra, so I asked hubbie if he'd seen my bra. After more searching I concluded that my bra had disappeared or been nicked.

So I asked hubbie if he'd got into cross-dressing and nicked my bra (as another black strapless bra as disappeared as well) and its not the first time I've lived with a cross-dresser. At this point I was getting ready for bed, I looked down and I was wearing the black lacy bra I'd been searching for. Oops, new level of ditiziness!

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Holidays - Yay

We're off on hols this weekend, going to Portugal for 2 weeks back to the villa we rented last year. At least this year I know where Portugal is located. Last year I didn't really think about where Portugal was until my brother was showing son 1 a globe and explaining where Portugal was, never realised it was on the side of Spain. Sort of thought it was near Sweden or somewhere in Europe. This is a prime example of my ditziness where unless I really need to know the detail, I'll just get on a flight to go on holiday and not know where geographically I will be.

A holiday with 3 children is as quoted in Modern Family "a business trip as I will be looking after my children its not a holiday". I am looking forward to no school / playgroup run and just trying to chill out on the beach (with the baby eating sand, older 2 boys fighting over the same spade etc).

Just noticed that if my husband doesn't shave for a day he has a beard. He's been shaving every other day for a few years now and not noticed. Its like the time he shaved off his sideburns but didn't notice for 6 months. As I explained to him, its looking after 3 kids for 14 hrs a day means I don't have time to notice him.

Monday, 14 June 2010

2nd times mums group

Although I'm a 3rd time mum, I joined a 2nd mums group that's organised by the local parent network.

Anyway, its my turn to host tomorrow which in my normal ditzy manner I completely forgot and arranged to meet up with another mum at a playgroup. Luckily I suddenly remembered this afternoon I was hosting otherwise there would have been several mums plus babies landing on my doorstep whilst I was gossiping down the road.

There's loads of us in the group ranging from 10 months down to 5 months, most are on their 2nd but there's a couple of us with 3 kids. Its been interesting joining a new group that's not my NCT group but I have made a complete of fauz pas. Such as the time I suggested to one mum (who has 12 months between her daughter and son - I know!) that she could use a baby walker as all 3 of mine love their walkers. The response was ' I would never use a walker' I was so surprised that I didn't ask why so I didn't look so like a 'slummy mummy' and had to go and find out why walkers are bad from other parents.

The great thing about this group of mums is that they like to drink - yay! As much as I love my NCT mums they don't really drink. This lot like their wine and nice restaurants - yay again! Well I better go and clean my kitchen, so again they don't think I'm a slummy mummy - oh and I'll have to hide the baby walker.

Sunday, 13 June 2010


I've had a great weekend mainly as we have sat night off from the kids. My lovely mum looked after all 3 kids last night so that we could go to a friend's 40th bday party. Great party in a coffee shop with the champagne flowing all night, England game and indian food. I managed to hold some sort of adult conversation but it may have leaned towards talking about kids. It was slightly dangerous having free booze as I don't have a stop button particularly if I know I've got the morning off. Then had a fabulous lie-in this morning until 9am which felt like my life before kids - ah those were the days.

We then went to bbq at friends who live around the corner, their son is the best friend of son 1. Again, nice and relaxing with lots of chit chat, bbq food and booze. Kids managed to play together well but son 1 has just thrown up in his brother's bedroom. Not sure if it was too many sweets etc. How come children never throw up in a bucket or toilet?

Friday, 11 June 2010

Stroppy children & disapproving looks

Son 1 who is 5ys / 9 months woke up in a stinking mood, asked for sweets at 6.40am I responded with a quick no, whilst hiding the haribo sweets I was eating at 6.39am. Double standards - me!

Did the school run in the new tank (even though the school is round the corner and it takes longer) but son 1 wanted to ride in the 'boot' as he puts it. Had to hide from other parents who know that we live round the corner - don't want them to think we're lazy! We then went to my favourite sing along group which although is £5.50 a go, means I get great cake and coffee whilst letting son 2 let off energy (run wild) and I get to chat with my fabulous mum friends. But today, son 2 and my friend's little boy decided to be v.manic and make loads of noise during the songs. This wouldn't be a problem normally but no other manic 3 yr old boys only angelic 2 yr girls were there today. So got lots of disapproving looks from mummies who weren't used to rough and tumble boys. In these situations I find myself turning manic trying to calm down my sons and not succeeding as they must feed off my embarassment.

Thursday, 10 June 2010


I really must stop losing my temper with the kids, I can't blame it on pregnancy hormones or PMT every day. Last night, at bathtime I'd bought the kids a pack of body wash sponge thingies. Son 2 was playing with them so I went to search for them. Couldn't find them anywhere so I assumed that son 2 (who has a habit of hiding things) had hidden them. Started shouting "where are they", "where have you put them" whilst he did his normal response "I don't know".

So this went on for about 15 mins, I was getting more and more wound up as I don't know about other parents but the nearer it gets to their bedtime the more agitated I get (I think its that target of having all 3 asleep at the same time is too much pressure). Poor little son 1 and son 2 are running around naked trying to find these sponges. In the end we gave up to read bedtime stories, I then noticed that I'd actually tidied them away in a bag. Whoops, poor son 2 got the blame for my dreadful memory. I will repeat my mantra 'I will stop losing my temper and shouting '.

Just painted my toenails blue, am I too old at 37 to be wearing the 'latest' nail varnish? Looks good though and hubbie called them interesting but he liked them.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010


So had another the ultimate ditzy experience today. At the gym today went for a swim while I had son 2 at playgroup and son 3 in the gym creche. Came out of the pool went to find my locker and I was determined my new padlock I'd bought the night before was pink but no pink padlocks would open. At this point I started panicking that I couldn't get to the kids in time with my car keys in the locker and no clothes.

So asked the gym staff to break open the locker that I was sure was mine as I thought the combination had changed - but it was someone's else. I then was determined another locker was mine so againe asked the staff to break into a second locker. All this was in front of an extremely packed changing room with everyone holding their breathes as the staff broke into each locker. So 2 lockers down and £10 later I realised my new padlock was actually black not pink and opened the locker next to the 1st one that had been broken into. I was so embarassed and late that I got dressed in about 1 minute. Can't believe that my baby brain means I'm the ultimate ditzy mum.

Monday, 7 June 2010

Buying a tank (people carrier)

Wow, the hassle to buy a 'living the dream' people carrier is unbelievable. Here's the story, now with 3 young kids I had to give into hubbie's suggestion that we needed to buy a people carrier as its near enough impossible to fit them all in the back of the car.

So, couple of ditzy mistakes led to hassle day. Firstly, I've forgotten to get my old banger serviced for 4 years so had to go to my mechanic at 8am this morning before school run (on the way my shoes fell apart as well). Luckily he sorted out the paperwork. Secondly, I then had to drive back to Car Giant with my mum following in her car and son 2 and son 3 (baby) in the back so I could pay for our tank, get the registration form thingy, hand over my old car which has seen me through 3 pregnancies so felt quite emotional. Then get my mum to drive me to the nearest DVLA office. As our new lovely tank is registered to a disabled user (I've learnt a lot in the past week about buying cars and road tax).

So I then got to DVLA but didn't have copy of the new insurance policy (ditzy moment) so after thinking I could get the car unregistered disabled (is there such an expression) but get the road tax when I had the insurance policy documents. So have to go back and if I don't pick up the lovely tank in 2 days from Car Giant they start charging £25 per day for storage. Wow, they have hidden charges for everything (good business model of making loads of £££).

That was my hassle day just to buy a tank - felt more like buying a house!

So still haven't got our lovely new tank so that I can live the middle age dream. Before having child 1 I had a sporty 2 seater convertible. What happened?