The end of Ditzy Mummy

Hey there, its been a while as I've been far too hectic. I had my brothers' wedding at which I gave a reading - well the wrong reading. I got my Song of Solomon passages wrong, so after forgetting my reading and then having to get up at a lectern the rector had put out another Song of Solomon passage that I had originally said I would do. I went with the reading I had been practising. Anyway it was a fantastic wedding, lots of friendly people (who could have been artifically stimulated to be friendly if you get my drift!). 

I've also realised that after being incredibly broke that I need to get some freelance work (diversity / human rights training or consultancy if anyone is interested) and I don't have enough time. So something has to give and as I don't get many comments / feedback on this blog I've decided my blog has to go. It seems that to make a blog really successful I need to put time and effort in. For the time being its the end of Diary of Ditzy Mummy but to end with another ditzy moment, I recently bought an iPod off ebay (I poured lemon juice on hubbie's which is the 3rd one I've lost or broken). The iPod had been working but when I was walking whilst using it this weekend it kept going on pause, and I couldn't get it to stop. I contacted the seller to point out it now wasn't working and he got annoyed as he said it was working when he sold it to me 3 weeks ago. Hubbie then pointed out that the headphones it had come with had a pause button on it. Oh s**t not again, I need a brain transplant.  

Silent Sunday

Triathlon

On bank holiday Monday I completed a sprint triathlon which was 426 metres swim in an open air pool (heated) followed by a 21K cycle and then a 5K run. I had to be there at 6am and at 5.30am I was having a massive panic as my bike had a puncture so I had to borrow hubbie’s much larger bicycle. I’m not bad at swimming so I was starting at no.166 out of about 400 people but I also knew that I’d knocked about a minute off my time. Off I started, 15 seconds between each competitor but after about half a length I’d caught up with the guy in front, we’d been told that if we wanted to overtake to touch the foot of the person in front, but he was doing this weird kick (come on how hard is kicking with straight legs??) so I couldn’t catch his foot. Eventually one of the officials asked him to let me overtake him. Then onto the cycling, I wasn’t used to the gears so the chain came off as soon as I set off – ah big panic as I don’t know about bike stuff so had to ask a marshal on the course. I’m also not that fast at cycling and only had a mountain bike with everyone else having road bikes. Apparently these bikes are a lot faster, not sure how but I’ll use that as an excuse for being so slow. Lots of people overtook me but I quite enjoyed the cycling. Next was the running, as I have a  dodgy knee I did some running training but I couldn’t do long distances. I struggled but what was so lovely about this triathlon was that all the marshals looked up your race number and called out encouragement using your name. Very uplifting when you’re panting like a dog! I managed to complete the race in 1 hr 44 mins which I thought was good until I looked up my placing later that evening and I was in the bottom 50 (out of 400) which is disappointing.


I also felt terrible afterwards like I had a really bad hangover, very sick which was due to dehydration I didn’t drink enough water or fluids during the race and still felt dodgy the next day. But now planning my training for the next one, I’ve caught the triathlon bug.

Muddling up my words

With a dose of ditziness and tiredness I often get words muddled. Here's some recent crackers:

• Calling the kindle I'd bought my mum for her birthday a kimble (I think that's a better name!)
• Referring to hovercraft parenting - instead of helicopter parenting
• Yesterday I tried to describe a small bag I need for my bicycle to the man in the v.professional bicycle shop. He had to ask many questions just to get the right type of bag, must of thought I was a little mad.  

I think son 2 has inherited this characteristic (maybe its not down to sleep deprivation and too many balls to juggle) as he often gets his words muddled. Today he wanted to be caper-sized in the swimming pool rather than capsized. Poor child, his older brother often takes the p**s. What words do you get mixed up?

New nursery

Back to work yesterday after a week off with the kids. I had to 'settle' son 3 at his new nursery over the week which was strange and as with the other 2 boys felt slightly wrong leaving him. The staff must have thought I was the stupidest mummy as I didn't leave enough nappies etc, right clothes etc. Its just getting back in the habit of being organised, I've been so used to having a nanny who was often left with no food, not enough clean nappies (I use re-usable nappies), moody kids etc that I am not used to being super organised. Help, how do I become super mum?? On another note, my 2 older boys are driving me mad, one is moody and naughty (he kicked one of his shoes off into a lake at Chiswick House my friend nearly split herself in half on a fence rescuing it) and the other is going through the biggest growth spurt with huge amounts of growth hormones making him have toddler tantrums (he's nearly 7!). I also realised I'm not cured of my ditiziness, my friend in Singapore who recently had her 3 child got sent a lovely card from me without anything written inside. Well I'm sure the mystery kept her guessing for days.   

Silent Sunday

Soft Play Centres

With the summer holidays still looming ahead I took the boys to a different soft playcentre that I got a deal through Groupon for a chain called Gamboda and they have one in Chelsea. Let me give you some history on my relationship with soft play centres: I'm not keen, its like an ex-boyfriend you forget the bad bits; think its not too bad; serves a purpose; but then you meet up and hate them. We have 2 soft playcentres that are nearish to us. The first one is dirty, expensive and the staff deserve a slap around the face with a wet fish (I have complained about a incident where they charged for son 3 when he was 6 months old, I got a voucher but couldn't bear to go back). The second is not so bad, its in North London and it has off peak prices which are useful for son 2 and son 1 to take but weirdly there are a lot of over-protective parents so there are more adults than children in the play structure (is that what's its called?) than children with their arms stretched out ready to catch their little darlings if they fall. Also, why are they so expensive in London I went to visit my lovely friend in Norfolk and it was only £2.95 rather than £9.75 - why the difference? So, yesterday off we went to Chelsea Harbour and spent 5 minutes getting in as we had to register and take photos of everyone (including me) which was very 'big brother'. Inside it was clean, still desperately noisy but that's inevitable in the school holidays (but one women I think a nanny had managed to fall asleep). They also had bumper cars and a great bit for under 2s which son 3 loved but after a few hours and a few tantrums later from each child, sometimes at the same time I decided to leave. Son 3 really didn't want to go and had big struggle putting his shoes on so I was quite flustered. But I couldn't get out, I had to give them our registration card to log us out and I couldn't find it. I actually said to the assistant "I just want to get out, let me out of here, why do I need a card to get out of here, let me out". That reaction made me realise I don't like soft play centres, today we're going to a nice quiet playground.

Cycling

You may have noticed that there's not been many posts lately is because I've been busy training for a sprinte triathalon ( a mini triathalon). This has involved cycling a lot on the mean streets of London. This has been an eye-opener, I always thought it was cars that were the danger but its actually other cyclists. They are so competitive...Everyone overtakes me and I'm sure I'm not that slow, but it seems that cycling to work I'm actually in a pretend competition. I started blaming my bike, maybe if I get a road bike that might help as I have a mountain bike (when I'm going near a mountain I don't know) but apparently I'm just slow. Last week I cycled all the way to work through the beautiful parks of London but I got lost trying to get to St James's Park. In particular on the way back, I really got lost and wondered why through Piccadilly there were no other cyclists. Because they all know how to cycle back through parks! Whoops. I also found the cycle home exhausting, I nearly caught hold of a passing car to get a ride home. So I will keep you posted on how I do in 2 weeks in the sprinte triathalon (my goal is to finish).  

The Gallery - Water

As part of The Gallery  here is my photo to represent Water. This was taken recently on our holiday to Greece and this photo reminds me of how my boys enjoyed jumping, splashing, laughing, and diving in the swimming pool. This is son 2 who has always been a water baby, he loves swimming under the water (not so good on the top even after tons of lessons).  I love how the water distorts the image and makes him look slightly like a ghost.  Go to the Gallery and check out all the other entries...

The Riots

This post may not be the most ‘ up beat’ post I have written but I’m angry at what is happening across England with the rioting that has spread. I live Ealing which is one of the areas that had a bunch of ignorant kids burning cars and looting shops under the guise of ‘rioting’ for a protest. Our house is about half a mile from Ealing Broadway and I know some of the shop owners whose shops were looted. I can’t believe that the Police couldn’t contain these kids from wrecking the centre of Ealing, normally on a Friday night there are lots of Police around. Last week I had to stop 2 kids from stealing bikes from outside the main shopping area (I’ve had my type stolen from my bike in the same spot). I’m not surprised that it happened as I do believe that some people do not have the social morals to understand that destroying people’s livelihoods and homes is wrong and cruel. There’s been many questions asked about motives and Hello its Gemma had an interesting post. I believe that’s its not a broken society but a tiny minority who are greedy and don’t want to work to buy the goods that they could loot instead. I can say this as I used to work with long term unemployed for many years running projects to help them get back into work. There were a few (and most long term unemployed do want to work but are caught in the benefits trap) that fundamentally didn’t want to work unless they were paid extremely well. I do believe the Metropolitan Police could have planned Monday night better. I work near Scotland Yard so I frequently see the Riot Police around when they're preparing for protects etc so I want surprised they couldn't get them to Ealing and other parts of London quicker. They'd had riots on Saturday night in Tottenham and then when it spread on Sunday night, so they could have planned better for Monday night.  On a ligher note, my mum who was worried about me on the mean streets on London told me to get a baseball bat to protect myself. Ok, Mum don't think it will fit into my bag and the kids would want to play with it.

My six year old's girlfriend

It's official son 1 has a girlfriend, he had playdate with her on Friday. It all started a few weeks before the end of term, I was sorting out his school book bag and saw a lovely picture which I was just about to put it on the fridge when he told me it was from Rachel at school. I turned it over and it was a love letter (ah so sweet). She's a lovely little blonde thing whose not one of the popular girls in his year so I thought I would boost her future self-esteem as I'm not boosting but my son is gorgeous! That night, we had a chat about Rachel and I suggested that he asked her to be his girlfriend. He thought this was a good idea but then I asked what he was going to do about the 'girl next door' who has always been his 'girlfriend'. He then pondered this in that way that boys / men do. The next evening I asked if he'd spoken to Rachel, he said yes and that she had responded with the message that she knew he would eventually be his girlfriend. I like her confidence, maybe she didn't need my help with her self-esteem. Her mum then organised a playdate for them, don't worry its all v.innocence. Do you think he'll appreciate my suggestions for girlfriends when he's older???

The Gallery: Birth

I could go on about the birth of my 3 sons for the Gallery. Instead I'll focus on the 'vain' part of birth for me, that is the first photo of me with my newborn, spanking brand new baby! With son 1, I looked probably the worse I've ever looked - I look like I'd been on a bender for 4 days with no sleep. Minus the alcohol, that's how it felt - induced Monday night, then Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday, finally born early Friday morning by emergency caesaran with massive blood loss. My mum took this photo and then proceeded to show it ever person she came into contact with for about a year, including an ex-boyfriend. Great!

Son 1

Son 2

After son 1, I was not going to make the same mistake. As I had an elective caesaran I made sure I'd done my hair and make-up that morning, the drugs also seemed to make me glow (literally) so this is my favourite photo of my birth. I didn't look this great 24 hours later though, after son 2 would not sleep at night (went on for a month).

Son 3

With son 3, it was nearly 2 years ago and I felt like this 3rd pregnancy had aged me a lot. I was very chilled out with my natural caesaran (another post to explain this) after the birth but I did look on the large size so not too pleased with this photo. You might also notice relief as my elective caesaran was delayed by a day due to other emergency caesarans (one was my sister-in-laws best friend who nearly died so put it all into perspective). At the time I was really upset and very anxious as I'd had the date booked for 10 weeks but after hubbie fainted in the operating theatre the hysterical laughing had relaxed me a lot. So how was your birth photo? 

Camp Bestival

 We have just returned from Camp Bestival where we had a marvellous time. Early in the year hubbie and I were discussing (as we do every year but never sort it out) that it would be great if we could go to a music festival preferably without the kids. We were looking at the Giles Peterson Worldwide Festival on a beach in the South of France (I know it looked amazing). After I got very excited especially as it was so cheap I then couldn’t find flights that would fit in with our childcare. I then looked up Camp Bestival which looked good as it was family friendly so wouldn’t be full of drunk 19 year olds (just middle aged drunk parents). Got our 4 man tent sorted, dropped off kids for a split weekend with grandparents and drove down to Dorset on Friday morning. When we turned up, we walked around all the fields trying to find a small patch of grass to pitch our tent, we started noticing that everyone had children with them, we were a minority being without our kids. After walking around the festival we figured out why, basically the whole festival is designed for families with 2 areas just for children (arts / crafts, circus skills, dressing up, discos and the list goes on). We had 2 options, get annoyed with ourselves for leaving the kids behind or embrace the freedom. Guess which option we took, so we sat in the fields (sometimes danced) and drank red wine / cider / cocktails and we ate loads of different exotic food. The only issue was that as I'm slightly ditzy (wow really I hear you say!) so acres and acres of tents I could never find ours fortunately I didn't try and get into some strangers tent. My highlights were: 

Blondie

• Labyrinth – Getting down with the teenagers by jumping up and down to this talented singer who was brilliant.
• Blondie – Debbie Harry although was a bit un-energetic at first (I think she’s 62) got rocking and I loved hearing all their old songs with lots of thirty something parents rocking along and was a really great atmosphere.
• Newton Faulkner – This dreadlocked white guy could really get the crowd going, he did a couple of covers including teardrop by Massive Attack and was so amazing on the guitar.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s only 18 but has bundles of confidence. For his late afternoon performance the big top was packed out and the surrounding field, very popular performer and he was great as well. Really talented singer / songwriter and all the 15 year old girls loved him, there must be something about him that gets the young girls going. See his cool new video that is using sign language for the lyrics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXvzzTICvJs&feature=relmfu

I would really recommend Camp Bestival, it was really well organised and a lot of thought had gone into the line-up and the timings to cater for the audience. I loved it but next year we are taking the kids.

Mix up

I am fortunate that my mum and mother-in-law look after my boys alternate wednesdays so I can save some money on childcare. They have been doing this since son 1 was a baby which has been a life-saver. As they've taken over from me whose turn it is organising  to cater for their numerous holidays I sometimes get confused whose turn it is but normally figure it out. Apart from yesterday, I was frantically tidying up and cleaning the kitchen as I thought it was my mother-in-law turn and telling the kids that "granny was coming" (which means they get bought some plastic tat or magazines from the corner shop). Imagine my surprise when I called out that granny was here but it was actually nanny. My poor mum got greeted with me saying "oh its you, I wouldn't have bothered cleaning up" and son 1 wailing that he wanted granny instead. I'd forgotten that granny was on holiday for a week. I'm sure more mistakes kids left will happen over the summer holidays as I have eclectic arrangements for childcare with 2 sons here / there / everywhere, whilst the baby is somewhere else, left at friends, with Dad, with grandparents, at playschemes, nurseries etc - Phew!!!

Flashback Friday - Look at that hair

As part of Flashback Friday, I thought I would get involved. This is a photo of me just before I left school (I'm on the left) with the crazy hair. What were we thinking in the 80s? I used to backcomb by fringe and flick my hair back with loads of hairspray. The denium jacket I loved and on the back I sewed in some paisley fabric - nice.

Now head over to Cafebebe and check out the other entries for flackback Friday.

Creativity

Son 2's way of helping birds

Son 2 who is 4 and half years old always keeps me on my toes with his amazing imagination and sometimes eccentricity (can be a child be eccentric?). His latest invention was when he had been thinking about why the birds had not used his bird box he'd painted at christmas and left in the garden. He informed me that the birds needed a platform to get into the bird box, and so he wanted to stick the badmington racket to the bird box so they could land on it and get in.. I'm quite used to his strange demands so I get black tape and stuck the racket to the bird box. He'd also decided that as he'd found a drawing pin and decided it was imperative that he stuck his drawing to a tree outside our house. Son 1 obviously got jealous and when I came home from work he'd also drawn a picture and also stuck it onto the next tree. I wonder if people walking along the street think the pictures are some sort of code for spies!! Son 1 also made me and hubbie laught last night as he's had sex education last term and decided to inform his brothers of the correct name for their willies. He's also referred to his tenticles which made me wonder what on earth he was talking about, it then clicked he was talking about his testicles. Ah the things kids say.

Did my mum really do that?

I went to my future sister-in-law’s hen do on Sunday which I had been stressing about all week. It was a 50s theme in homage to Becky and which I knew nothing about (apart from watching a few episodes of Mad Men). I spent most of my evenings watching ‘you tube’ clips on doing 50s hair styles (did you know you’re meant to curl hair around your fingers, pin with a clip and sleep on them to set the curls). On Sunday I set off with my 50s dress (new still with tags in as I was intending to take it back due to no funds in my bank account) and my attempt at 50s hair which was basically a frizzy mess. I was a little bit nervous as I hadn’t met any of Becky’s friends and imagined that as she’s a trendy hairdresser (Mayfair salon and very expensive) all her friends would be uber-cool and a decade younger than me. Then my mum mentioned she had been invited and would be coming along, which led to a conversation over what she should wear that would be 50s. I had to talk her out of wearing her ‘sun hat’ as that what she had interrupted as 50s style. Help!

So after a few hiccups with the boat at Camden Lock that had been hired for lunch and then cancelled we ended up at another bar that accommodated us. Fast forward a few hours later, lots of wine and shots (are shots appropriate in the afternoon was all I was thinking - I'm such a mum!!). All the girls were actually near my age with kids, all very chatty and loads of funny stories to tell about their lives. By this point I knew I was quite tipsy but had forgotten that my mum had also been drinking. When then progressed onto another part of the bar that had different themed rooms (well actually ex-stables). Then one we took over had a pole on a platform and all the girls had had a go pretending to pole dance. Now my mum is nearly 70, a bit Hyacinth Bucket and a dodgy hip so imagine my surprise when my mum climbed up onto this mini stage and did a bit of pole dancing. She then told one of the staff to ‘p**s off’ when he tried to remove all the cushions we were sitting on. I was shocked that she still had it in her!! 10 years ago I would be mortified with embarrassment but now I just found it funny.

Do girls rule the world?

Copyright Beyonce

As you may know I am a sort of feminist so I was interested to read a column in the Observer about Beyonce's new song "Run the World (Girls)". The only positive about not having a girl (3 boys instead) is that I don't have worry about the sexist opinions and the 'sexing' up of our young girls. I'd like to think I'm not a prude but if Beyonce is singing about girls ruling the world why does she have to do it, in her bra and knickers? I do worry about the future for girls, particularly as according to my beauty therapy friends most girls under 25 have no hair on their lady parts anymore (was going to put muff but I'm definately getting too old!). I question whether Beyonce is empowering women or setting standards and expectations that are unrealistic. If women are ruling the world are they doing it by being more creative and innovative than men or because they are wearing skimpy clothes. I thought the column was an interesting read as I just don't know the answers. I thought the slut walks were an interesting concept (I bet the policeman who started the walks with his slut comment doesn't) and I was intending to go on the London slut walk but as normal didn't get around to it. I try and do my bit by educating my boys that girls are equal see my feminist post.

On my ditzy side, for a long time I thought Beyonce's hair was real as she advertising hair products for European hair, my knowledge on weaves has been enlightening (thanks Melissa).  

The challenge of childcare

Our nanny has quit which was not a surprise as she'd told me she was looking for other work that would fit in with us. So it was when rather than if. She’s been working for us for 3 years now with about a 9 month break when I was on maternity leave (her decision not mine) and the two older boys are really fond of her so its going to be upsetting. I'm now in the process of sorting out our complicated childcare arrangements as son 2 is starting school in September. Prior to our nanny son 1 and son 2 were at a private day nursery for about 3.5 years and I had son 1 booked in when I was only 4 months into my pregnancy (wow, how organised did I used to be).



Although we live in nappy valley, there is a lack of decent nurseries near the tube station. After ringing around, there were 3 nurseries that have spaces for son 3 whose turning two at the end of September. The first nursery we visited was recommended by next door neighbour and I got a good vibe on the telephone from them. However, my first impressions were lukewarm. All the children were playing outside and there seemed tons of them. I know you shouldn’t look at the buildings but it was grey and drab on the outside. But inside it was welcoming, all seemed fine but as son 3 was crying (he’s very astute so had guessed it was a place he would be left by me) but I forgot to ask the questions I needed. At this point, I liked this nursery and thought this was the one as the staff seemed caring, lots of toys and space and kids looked happy. The second nursery was disappointing to say the least, small rooms with staff who were not playing with the children and didn’t seem bothered with them. None of the staff engaged with son 3 (or indeed son 2 who was there as well) which was a bad sign. At one point, a child was crying and instead of finding out why, I heard a staff member just tell them to be quiet. When I got the fees list this explained the quality, it was dirt cheap (you pay for what you get). Also I would have to pay £30 to be put on a waiting list – why would I pay money for you not to guarantee a place??? Also, their policy was that all parents had to be there at the latest 5.55pm and off the premises by 6pm, but their opening hours are 8am until 6pm so my thinking was if I’m paying for that precious 5 mins to run back from the tube station then I should get it.


The third nursery we visited I had all 3 boys with me, I couldn’t find it and was about to give up so was late and flustered. But it was a nursery in a house which was like the tardis (it was massive out the back) it was recommended by a women at work whose daughter goes there and she’s the same age as son 3. When the owner came to show us around, I picked up son 3 and misjudged the space behind me and bumped his head on the wall – whoops (the owner probably wondered why I had 3 children when I couldn't cope with one toddler)! I got a good vibe just my sitting in the reception bit, lots of info on the employee of the month, the policies, detail on how long the staff had worked there and been working in childcare. Very organised and professional and with lots of space. The difference between this visit which lasted 45 mins compared to the 10 mins at the other two was amazing. I was told all about their food, playtimes, arts and crafts etc. Systems such as allocating a key worker when the child had bonded with a worker impressed me, as normally they are allocated a key worker straight away and this way seemed more logical. I was also introduced to all the staff by name, the staff and children seemed happy and there was a calm atmosphere. Having such a long visit allowed me to get a better feel for the nursery. I quickly changed my mind even if the fees were higher than the other 2 (not substantially). I liked that when son 3 wandered off to play in their playground, a member of staff returned him back to me.


My tips for looking at nurseries: (1) go with your gut instinct, does it feel right (2) Did the staff interact with your child, are they playing with the children or standing around chatting? (3) What did the rooms feels like, was there enough space, variety of toys, schedule of activities – this could be indoors or outdoors space (4) are they flexible or was the nursery setting out their own rules before what would fit your needs (5) What’s their turnover of staff, ask how long their staff have been working at their nursery. Now I just have to find a childminder and cover the long summer holidays.


Hope that helps, will keep you updated whether son 3’s new nursery works out and if my top tips works. Any other tips for looking for a nursery?

Silent Sunday

I know this should be a photo with no words - but this inflatable dinosaur made hubbie jump when he came home to an empty house and thought it was a dog or a fox.