Why can't a baby speak

My ditzy side is back, on Monday at my baby / parent singing group I embarrassed myself considerably. At the beginning, of the class the leader goes around the group to get the names of all the children. The baby and I were the first in the circle and the leader asks "so who have we got here then", I wasn't really with it and after waiting about 30 seconds for the baby to say his name I suddenly realised he can't talk as he's only 17 months. After this realisation, I stated "oh he can't say his name sorry, his name is Arlo - sorry forgot he can't speak", lots of laughter and red cheeks at my ditziness followed.  As all 3 sons have been to this group from babies up to school age I was used tp son 1 and son 2 saying their own names it was just natural to wait for son 3 to say his name. Whoops......

Red Nose Day

I’m writing this as I sit in the glorious sunshine in my garden, son 2 is putting water down his slide into his mud pie, water is going everywhere but I don’t care as spring is here. Being a working mum I often miss what is happening at the school and they’re not the best as reminding parents about events etc. So on Friday for red nose day I thought they had to dress up in red (I’m sure they’d put it somewhere on a notice that it was red dress up) but as we got towards the school I realised it was dressing up in silly clothes. Shit, got it wrong again. Son 1 is quite laid back about me getting things muddled and son 2 is still too young to realise. So my ingenious son 1 when I picked him up from school rather than telling me I had got it wrong, had just turned his clothes inside out and back to front to be ‘silly’. I had also forgotten the day before that son 2 had to dress up for nursery in green to celebrate St Patricks Day, again he didn’t get upset as I think he’s used to me forgetting things. My new week’s resolution yet again is to be more organised. On the note of comic relief, all those images of sick children had me texting their fundraising number over and over again. Anyone else do the same?????

Also went out on Saturday night with my sex and the city girlfriends (ie in their late 30s with no kids and fabulous lives / careers). I can’t seem to drink anymore (2 glasses of wine and get a hangover) and as my husband pointed out I’m nearer 40 than 30 so getting on a bit! To summarise the night, embarrassingly fell over some cobbles at 3am, scolding burns from hot water bottle discovered the next morning, took night nurse so I didn’t wake at 6am like normal but managed not to lose my clutch bag.

Swishing

The school finally had a fundraising event that I wanted to go to rather than felt obliged. They held a swishing event on Friday night, which sounds rude but is actually a clothes swapping party. You take good quality clothes hand them in and then swap with other donated clothes from other mums. I bought my ticket ages ago without checking that a) hubbie was home (he wasn't he had to work on pressing some buttons aka IT or something when no-one from TfL was in the office) and b) that any friends were going. So left kids with new babysitter (only 19 but cheap) I went along with my 11 items and took some nice clothes (Ted Baker, Diesel etc) that just don't suit the tummy that's had 3 kids. Several observations: some very skinny, glamorous mummies appeared from somewhere who I've never seen on school run (where did they emerge from?); some stuff was horrid did they really think someone would want a jacket from the 1980s; and some of tops disappointly left with had holes in - why would you donate clothes with holes? Whoops baby just pressed wrong button and published the post. So to end story, I did manage to get some great tops and every mum I saw yesterday morning was wearing their 'swishing' clothes - brillant fundraising idea. I got a Kate Moss Top Shop poppy dress which is too short for me so I'm selling on ebay so I can buy the school some new reading books as theirs are 20 years old and apparently new books are not a priority rather new computer equipment is more important (yes already asked the Head).  Did consider selling dress and keeping money but that just felt too mean.

How old do I look?

I had an interesting day today, I decided to cycle part of the way to work (about 3 miles) and then caught the tube the rest of the way. Unfortunately forgot my oyster card and had to pay £4 for a one way ticket (when did they charge peak hour charges???) but felt good for cycling so got over it. On the way home I went to unlock my bike outside Chiswick Park station (which is quite a posh part of London) and a homeless older lady started talking to me. We had a good chat. She referred to me as being young which I scoffed and she said I looked 25 (I’m 38) so was quite chuffed as feeling old at the moment. As I was telling hubbie he asked if she was drunk, well she was swigging from a vodka bottle. Well, I do need to get my compliments where I can!

Big mistake at the playground

Whilst at the playground with the 3 boys and hubbie last weekend I got a bit bored (I have been going to the same place for nearly 6 years). To ease my boredom I decided to get on the apparatus that swings you round and round using the gravity of your own weight. When I'd helped the kids I'd always had to swing them around but didn't realise that the heavier you are the faster you go. So, hubbie started spinning me round and round, I couldn't stop the bl**dy thing and hubbie was just laughing rather than stopping it. When he finally let me off I was incredibly dizzy and felt sick for the rest of the day. I'll leave it to the kids next time. Also heard a funny story from my friend about Sally Phillips (actress / comedian from smack the pony, Miranda etc). If you like Miranda the sitcom you'll like this story. My friend's son goes to the same gymnastics class as Sally Phillips' child in a quite posh part of west London. They were all chatting when one of the mums' received a text when she was mid-conversation at this point she stopped talking reached for her phone and said "Bear with" (this is comical thing that Sally's character Tilly in the sitcom Miranda does). The mum wasn't even trying to be ironic either she just had obviously never watched Miranda and / or didn't know who Sally Phillips was!! 

Pet Hates

This week's listography is Pet Hates which I got inspiration from Super amazing mum
1) Overhead lights, they steal you're energy (I know its sounds weird but its one of my many weird philosophies) so in our house there is always an ongoing debate with hubbie when I turn on lamps, he can't see so turns on the overhead light, I turn it off and on it goes. At work the horrible florescent lights are not allowed to be on over my desk and we now have lamps on our desk where I sit.
2) Helicopter parents, those parents who hover around their children. Now that's their business if they want to be over anxious and not let their children discover independence but when they start doing it to my children it winds me up. As I have 3 children I can't hover over them so the baby is often left at soft play parks to climb up frames etc without me hovering over him. This has caused problems in the past when son 2 who has no fear, is on a climbing frame and anothe parent gets panicked which then makes him think there is something wrong and in the past this has caused him to fall when another parents shouted out this alarmed him and he lost his footing.
3) Rude people on the tube - let me off the train and you will get onto the train quicker, simple, there's signs / announcements everywhere giving this message. 
4) Cold callers - got a new way to get rid of them on the phone, "hello is Ms Bown there" "no I'm not in at the moment" and put the phone down.  
5) Capes - I've decided I don't like them  which I now realise are do not look good on anyone and are not flattering just a fashion thing that doesn't work see my post about capes http://diaryofditzymummy.blogspot.com/2010/11/issues-with-my-cape.html I have now sold my on ebay.
6) Toilet seats in a house with 4 boys, although one boy is in nappies the others all wee all over my toilet. I have tried to introduce a new rule that all boys sit down to do a wee but hubbie wouldn't go for it. With son 1 and son 2 they don't even lift the toilet seat up but aim their wee over the seat (without lifting) so I sit down on a wet seat (which is cleverly hidden) - not nice. My ongoing mantra is lift the seat then lower the seat. I had managed to toilet train them sitting down but they soon learned normal boys don't do this. Damn. Also when women hover over public toilets (so they don't catch diseases - never understood that one) they also wee all over the seat - clear it up!