How bad am I at arts & crafts?

Son 2 often asks me to make swords, pirate ships, hats etc out of cardboard boxes, bits of string, dust etc. The argument that I don't know how to do it is normally met with a "just do it" - followed by tears.

The other day he asked for a submarine to be made from a random box, although I've been watching The Deep (BBC drama) about a submarine I still couldn't recall what a submarine looked like. Look at my effort - does it look anything like a submarine (I though they might have aerials on them that's what the pipe cleaners are)? Son 2 was satisfied for about 2 mins.

wedding in the woods

After visiting my friend in Manchester for 12 hours on Friday night (as I couldn't make her hen night) the whole family went to a wedding in some woods. Very alternative wedding... 

It was hubbie's cousin who I'd never met, after spending ages looking for the 'old oak tree' with a pram, couple of grandparents and older auntie we found the wedding party. We then spent an hour waiting for the bride whilst 5 little boys ran around the woods and of course found dog poo to tread in. The bride then walked down the aisle (made of logs) with her dog and had the service performed by her younger brother. Interesting!! The actual service was lovely and better than religious service as it felt more personal. But my mother-in-law amused me as she was freaking out in her perfect outfit whilst waiting and going on how ridiculous the wedding was. Her freaking out made me laugh anyway.    

Celebrities

Living in London I come across celebrities quite a bit, always when I don't expect it. LOn Friday I was in Top Shop on Oxford Street and saw the women that's just left Coronation Street (can't remember her name) - tried not to stare. 

I'm not v.good with recognising famous sports people. I was at the gym swimming pool with hubbie and kids when I pointed out to hubbie another daddy who was very well-built / muscly black guy and asked why he couldn't look like that. Hubbie replied that if he was an international French rugby player then he probably would. Good point. 

Where I used to work along Ladbroke Grove (north end not the posh south end), I used to see loads of semi-famous celebrities (actors and comedians mostly). All I ever used to think (hope I didn't say it outloud) was why would you live around here its a sh*t hole. Now I know you're asking how I know they lived there, only ever saw them in the morning.

Whipsnade Zoo

Last week took the boys to Whipsnade zoo to meet a friend. Its a lovely place to take children as once you're past the entrance is fairly crowd free as its so vast and the animals are spread out (not roaming about though). I liked it so much I've bought annual passes for us all.

Had a ditzy moment though when we visited the hippos, there were 2 lying on top of each other. As I approached the enclosure I thought the hippos were mother and daughter was the one on 'top' looked smaller, I commented to the kids "ah look its mummy is giving it a cuddle". The bloke next to me responded "I don't think so". I then noticed they were the same size and were probably doing "the wild thing". Whoops...

Innocent remarks

I was amused by a couple of my son ‘s remarks over the past few weeks: we were talking about camping which he really wants to do but he came up with the issue of “mummy, if we went camping where we would we get our brioche for breakfast from”. Omigod, how middle class are my children!! I have to admit that for ease and as son 1 is so fussy he gets either a chocolate brioche, pain au chocolat or toast for breakfast.

Another remark was when I mentioned that my tummy was still flabby after the baby. My lovely son said “well mummy, your tummy has been stretched out when we were all in your tummy and its not right out here anymore but its just a bit loose and stretchy now”. Ah, the sweetheart at the age of 5 is already trying to make me feel better in his own special way.

Sand

With the summer hols half way through, I scummed and finally bought more sand for their sand table. That night went to bed and found a load of sand on my side of the bed. Its ok to have sand in bed if I was 19 and just been skinny dipping on a beach in south of France but not at nearly 38 when my bed is my sanctuary.

After two nights of scratchy sleeping and my imagination running wild thinking that some little animal (squirrel or pigeon) perhaps had deposited it in my bed I realised one of my 3 sons was the culprit. Now our bedroom is on the second floor and the sand table is out in the garden so how had sand transported up 2 floors was a mystery. Finally Son 1 whose nearly 6 admitted that he'd found sand in his pocket so had emptied it out into our bed. Mystery solved.

swimming / lifeguard

Just been swimming with all 3 sons and then I did a quick 30 lengths in the big pool. As I came out the v.cute but young lifeguard said "good swim", now in my head he was saying "hey good swim, you were looking really fit" so I said thanks in a kind of flirty way. It was only later that I realised he might have been saying "good swim?". The fact that I then looked in the mirror and realised I was wearing a dodgy swimming costume with a swimming cap and indents around my eyes from my goggles made me realise I don't think he was flirting...... Oh dear, I must realised I'm a thirty something mother of 3.

Where's my watch?

I have been without my lovely watch all week. It got lost on Monday and there is a possibility son 2 has hidden it. Trying to get the whereabouts of the watch from a 3 year old is near enough impossible. I've tried bribes, tricks etc but he won't even say yes or no to hiding it. Hubbie says I've lost the watch (I'm v.forgetful and daily lose my keys, purse, kids etc) and that blaming a 3 year old isn't going to work. I've looked everywhere.....where's my watch?

Start of summer holidays

We now have 5 weeks left of the school holidays which don't seem to be going to plan. My parenting stragies have gone out of the window and I've turned into a 13 year old. Apart from the baby my sons are driving me crazy, the combination of my insommnia and the endless demands for entertainment is not how I imagined our summer.

Today the tantrums (mine) started with son 2 not putting his shoes on, then both bickering in the car (even though with the big van I can seperate them they still manage to fight). I really lost it when the coffee I had carefully taken back to the car and then son 1 jumped in the front of the car and split it everywhere. I had been counting on the coffee to keep me awake while I drove home, so had hissy fit in the car park. I then ended the day with me delivering a long angry lecture on doing as I ask which didn't work so I turned into a sulky teenager who wouldn't talk to them. Its quite difficult to bath and get them ready for bed without talking them. Fortunately, hubbie came home in the middle so I could storm off to the gym.